MARRIAGE-What exactly is marriage? First, let’s understand marriage. Marriage is social, legal, and union between two individuals later called spouses. According to some articles, marriage is a relationship between two which is official, lawful and permanent. But is it really permanent? A successful marriage depends on many factors that one must take good care of. Marriage can last long till death but can also be called off due to any reason [separation, divorce]
Many may recommend that successful marriage is where love exists, others may suggest going with the flow and being the recessive one, but understanding your partner is what one must do at first, understanding if the person is your potential partner and do they make you happy and helps in your growth. People in happy marriages tend to live a longer and happier life as they are satisfied with what their partners have brought to them.
For many Marriage can range from happily ever after to totally opposite. Marriage Counsellor often describes a few reasons that lead to broken marriages and what can you do to fix them.
REASONS FOR BROKEN MARRIAGE
- Poor Communication: -Communication plays an important role in better understanding one’s nature and how one perceives certain situations. When individuals know how to express their feelings, it becomes easy for other to have better look at their feelings, emotions and problems that they are facing in their life. All relationships have ups and downs but better communication can help resolve conflicts and build stronger partnerships.
- Conscientiousness: – Conscientiousness refers to goal-oriented behaviour. It is the ability to set and keep long-term goals, and be more deliberate about choices but if one lists their priority as being very much conscientious and not able to manage other things such as relationships. When channelled correctly, no doubt a person can be effective and act as an asset, but it can also lead to many other negative aspects.
- Laziness: – Anything in life takes effort to be successful, may it be going to the kitchen to drink water. A relationship is no different, for a healthy and long-term relationship one must put effort. This is one of the important reasons for broken marriages.
- Selfishness: – As a bachelor one always put themselves first, as to what they need to do, how they need to do and why. But in marriages when you have tied the knot with another individual, they must value their perspective and what they actually want to do and how. There must be a point where the thinking of both individuals should match. You have to put your partner’s needs equal to or before your own.
- Infidelity: – Infidelity is the breaking of a promise to remain faithful, and loyal to a romantic partner, whether the promise was part of the marriage vows or a privately uttered agreement between lovers. According to Dr(Prof) R K Suri BestMarriageCounsellor of India, “many people act differently in these situations as one might not consider having an intimate relationship with others as cheating or other might even think that staring at other person is unforgivable”. But yes, infidelities do break relationships and can bring differences between the two.
- Constant arguing: – From bickering over chores to arguing over the kids, constant arguing destroys many relationships. Couples who appear to have the same argument over and over often do so because they believe they are not being heard or appreciated. Many people find it difficult to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of arguments that never end.
- Lack of equality: – In recent years, lack of equality has trailed closely behind the number one cause of divorce, a lack of intimacy. When one partner feels like they are taking on more responsibility in the marriage, it can change their perception of the other person and lead to resentment. Resentment frequently snowballs into one of the reasons for divorce. It is the most common reason for divorce. Every couple must navigate their own set of challenges and find their own way of coexisting as two equals in a respectful, harmonious, and joyful relationship.
WAYS TO SAVE BROKEN MARRIAGE
- Start from the start: – Getting to know how you started off with your partner might bring new zeal to you to mend your relationship. Remember the good moments you spent together and think of the happy times. Savouring the past can help see what is good for you and what is not. Think about what made you fall in love with them. It might seem tough at first as you have lost sight of this but thinking back to the good old days may help you get the good sight to heal the broken marriage.
- Start communicating and listening: – Listening and communication are one of the important factors that help in stronger relations. Start to listen to each other, be patient and consider their viewpoints. Don’t rush towards the end rather be mindfully present and get involved in the topic. Listening and communicating are powerful and help you to save the marriage.
- Set your priorities: – Many people in this busy world of earning money forget what actually they want. Everybody wants love and affection from loved ones, setting priorities may help you to figure out what you need and what efforts you can put forward in order to achieve it.
- Understand yourself: – Introspect. Contemplation is a cycle that includes searching internally to look at one’s own considerations and feelings. Introspection helps you to understand more about yourself, it provides knowledge that cannot be gained in any other way. Thus understanding yourself is a must, and recognize your emotions. It is very easy for us human beings to play the blame game, to point fingers at each other. You need to work on yourself first in order to save a marriage, as it always takes two to quarrel.
- Commit to each other: – For many of us commitment might be the toughest task but, yes it leads to a stronger connection with your partner. It provides healthy trust between the two which ultimately leads to saving the marriage. Rebuilding trust is tough but one must give it a try, try to be loyal and committed, and prove to your spouse that you’re changed and will even bring change in the relationship for its betterment.
- Intimacy: – Being intimate, not just sex but rather feeling of touch, hugs, holding hands, doing cuddles. All these acts can bring back love and intimacy in relationships.
- Be transparent: – Trying to be transparent is where trustworthiness comes from, be more transparent about your feelings. Transparency doesn’t mean that you need to know about everything in each other’s life rather there should be a feeling that you aren’t living just for yourself.
- Help from a professional: – If you tried your best to save the marriage and still got unsuccessful then comes the role of a licensed therapist. Professionals are trained in certain areas which provide couples with a better view of their relationship, what has gone wrong and what can they do to protect their marriage.
It’s not uncommon for couples to reconcile. If you’ve broken up your marriage but wish you could back with each other, remember that it’s feasible if you two are still in love. So, keep holding onto hope. You can entice him to desire you back. But throughout it all, you must maintain patience. But taking Relationship Counselling sessions from the Best psychologist and online counsellor can be of great assistance. It is important to have a place where you can express yourself freely and receive feedback. Relationship Counselling at TalktoAngel is one such place where over time you could probably start feeling less burdened by talking to an expert and top psychologists and Marriage Counsellors in India.
